Im so pissed at myself right now. Seriously, Im getting really sick and tired of setting myself up for disaster time after time. I mean, I know what I want and I know what I need, so why do I keep trying to fit a square peg in a round hole?
It is making me so frustrated with myself. I want to be a grown up and do things on my own, for myself, but I keep making stupid mistakes. And what makes it worse is that Im not learning from these mistakes...its like, if you burn your hand on a hot burner, you dont touch it again, right? Why then is it so tough for me to stop touching the damn flaming hot mess that keeps coming into my life?
Ugh!!! I just dont know. Maybe Im suffering from the Martyrdom syndrome but then...no one is feeling sorry for me, but me, so that would be pretty idiotic. But then again, it wouldnt be the first dumb thing that Ive done-right?
Anyways, I guess the only way to stop letting myself down is to grow a pair. Lol, or maybe I should just grow a spine and learn how to say 'enough is enough, and no is no'. But its so hard to do.
I guess one of my twitter peeps said it best when she said- "It's hard to realize your decision is the right one, especially when you wish it weren't." Now, if I could just stick to my decisions I'd be golden.
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