Nervous Nelly

Nervous Nelly, thats me.

So, in 12 days Im going back to my home state of Washington for the first time in 12 years. Im super excited, but super nervous at the same time. 12 years is a long time to be gone from friends and family.

Im worried about what they're going to think of me and about me. I mean, I dont really have anything to show for my absence, except about 60 pounds. I dont have a great career, Im not married, and I dont have any children. In a way, Im worried that they might think that Im the big loser of the family--the black sheep.

Im wondering if I should make up some great story...should I give myself some great job with an important title? Should I invent a super wonderful, super romantic finance? Or should I go with the truth...yes, Im 35. No, I've never been married, no I dont have kids, oh, and Im unemployed. I think not! The truth sucks monkey balls!!

But at the same time, I dont want to have to lie about my life. Even though my life may not be perfect, it's still MY LIFE! So how about this-Yes, Im 35, No-I havent been married, but I've been in a long term relationship for the past 3 years...no kids yet, I want to own my own home first. Oh, my profession you ask? Well, I was laid off from my sales job in February-and it's a tough job market. It's basically all the truth, just phrased a little bit nicer.

So, I guess that's it. Ive decided to tell the truth. I might not be 100% comfortable in my own skin, but Im not going to lie about who I am, just to make people like me. One thing Ive learned about myself is this: No one is going to love me unless I love myself. And if my FRIENDS and FAMILY cant love me-or at least accept me, for the person I am..then it's their loss.

Im still nervous about going home, but Im super excited about seeing everyone. Like I said, 12 years is a long time!