A Whole New Me....

It's been a little over a week since I've updated you on my big move, and I'm sorry for that. But once I actually got here my number one priority was and is to find a job. I'm super happy to be here, I feel like its a second chance at my life and I'm not going to let anyone who cares about me down. I feel like a whole new me :)

FrancoLandia

Everyone who reads my blog knows what a rough year I've had friendship wise. But I finally accepted the fact that people change and that sometimes friendships die. I was excited to be moving, not sad at all about leaving people from my past behind. And then I check my email. The last thing I expected to see was an email from a person who was my best friend for years. I've lived with her family from time to time and I was closer to her than anyone else in my life. For reasons that are best left unsaid, her and I had a falling out a while ago which finally blew up into a confrontation on the street and almost ended up with us physically fighting. For me that's when I was done. I knew then that our friendship was over...and it was like a bad breakup. We couldn't be in the same room at the same time, and sadly that forced mutual friends to take sides. Anyways, the point is that she was my friend, and then she wasn't and I had finally come to terms with it. And then she emails me a letter saying good-bye. She wrote about how she misses me as a friend and about how she thinks about me all the time. She said she wishes she understood why things happened the way they did and then she said-"I'm sorry." Up until then I was OK, but those two words opened up the wound and broke my heart all over again. I miss the good times that we had. I miss the laughter and the tears. I miss her family and more than anything I miss her. And now I'm sad. I have less than 3 days until I leave and I don't know if I'm going to have time to see her one more time. I want the chance to see her face to face so I can tell her that I'm sorry too. But whether I see her again or not, I now know two things for sure: 1.) She will always be a part of me. I am who I am because of the time that we were friends and 2.) True friendships never end. They have their up's and downs and good times and bad but they never, ever end. A friend is a friend...and a friendship like the one that we shared is a friendship forever.

Counting down.........

4 Days, 13 Hours, and 28 Minutes until I leave for Washington.

In no particular order...

Last time I went back to Washington was a year and a half ago. It was my first visit back since I moved from there more than ten years ago. I was so excited to go home and since I had 6 weeks to visit I figured I had plenty of time to do everything that I wanted. I did get to see my family and I did love every single moment that I spent with them, but after I came back to Arizona I wished that I would have done more. So this time Ive started a list called "Things to do while I'm in Washington..in no particular order" and Ive already listed 23 different things. While I was editing my list a little earlier I started thinking about my trip differently. Instead of just going for 3 months in my heart I feel like I'm moving back permanently. My plan was to go up there and get a job and I'm thinking-why would I work so hard to get a job and then just quit after 3 months? Its ridiculous. So at this point (5 days and 14 hours until I leave) I'm in a state of super excited-ness and super confusion. I guess the old saying is true....only time will tell. 

Believe...

~~~I BELIEVE~~~

I believe- That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe- That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be, and I’m not there yet.
I believe- That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe- That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe- That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe- That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe- That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe- That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

Let the countdown begin!!

So, remember the other day when I got a butt-load of letters from the dmv? Well the very next day I went to court at 7am to try and get things straightened out, and surprisingly things went pretty good. The judge was very nice and allowed me to present proof that I had insurance when I was pulled over. That right there knocked off $1200 of my fine. He also lifted the mandatory suspension of my license...which is great, although its still technically suspended. On Monday I have to go back and pay $192.88 to clear the final ticket and clear all suspensions on my license. After that I'm headed off to the dmv to get a new drivers license (since the police man took mine) and viola! all is good in the neighborhood.
     That being said I'm sure your all expecting me to completely change my plans and go back to my old ways, but SURPRISE-your wrong. After taking care of my ticket on Monday I will be buying my ticket to Washington, and perhaps my new life.So folks, let the countdown begin!!!

What a difference a day makes....

Today I got not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but 5 letters in the mail from the dmv. Let me tell you people...when you get 5 letters in the mail on the same day from the same place it ain't going to be pretty. So in a nutshell I have to go to court tomorrow to get a court date (?!? I know, it makes no sense at all) to plead guilty to driving with a suspended drivers license. And on top of that, even if I paid my fine then and there my license is suspended until at least April 2011.  It sucks monkey balls, but I really cant complain because to be honest its completely and totally 100% my fault. (But that's a story for a different day.) Anyways, the silver lining to my story is that I'm going out of town for a couple of months. Not necessarily on a vacation, but to re-evaluate my life. I'm headed up north to my home state of Washington and I'm going to be staying with my Aunt Shirley. We have loads of fun together and I'm excited to be going. The only thing that I'm going to miss about this God forsaken state are my Dad and my chihuahua Chico. Adios ex-friends, adios ex-boyfriends, adios Alejandro, adios-adios-adios!